i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
