I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
