and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
