David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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