My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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