The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
