New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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