Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
