Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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