he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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