Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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