Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
