It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
