I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
