I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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