my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
