So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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