I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
