I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize