There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
