he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
