i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
