i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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