Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
