I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
