I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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