You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
