During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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