if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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