he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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