So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
