drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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