"it" just moved
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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