okay pat passed out under dana's car
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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