Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize