I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
