What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
