every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
