I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
