He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
