sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
