We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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