NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will be naked everywhere
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
