he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
