No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
did you just send me my own nude
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
