Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
