ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
