she smelled like a LAN party
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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