using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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