The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's always time for handjobs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
