don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's get the cat blown out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
