let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
