Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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