She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize