it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
NoShamevember. You game?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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