i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
