she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
