just come out here and I will go home with you...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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