you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize