Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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