I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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