That's when you crack a 10am beer
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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